FEAR~ TWICE IN ONE WEEK

Twice this week I have been completely terrified...

I think it was this last Monday that I was sure I had murdered us all. I dunno, I'm tired....

Boys will be boys. And boys pee all over the toilet and all over the floor by the toilet. We have 5 boys in this house. (Maybe they should sit to pee. You don't see us girls peeing all over the place. I'm sick of cleaning up boy pee.) 

So I'm in the bathroom and I spill bleach. The bleach immediately starts to foam and fizzle when it reaches the toilet. Um.... OK? It must be that amonia+bleach chemical reaction that I've heard about? That's supposed to be bad, right? Well, it can't be THAT bad. Right? 

As I'm cleaning up the the sizzling foam my throat and nose and eyes start to burn. I mean really burn. OH GOD! What did I do??? I hold my breath and quickly clean up the rest, close the door and run to the GOOGLE. WHAT???? Oh crap, oh crap, OH CRAP!!! I keep looking and it's the same all over the place! Now I feel real FEAR!

So I called Poison Control and the guy calmed me down. He did say it was VERY dangerous, however, if I wasn't already in the process of dying or exploding, then it most likely wouldn't happen. YAY ME! I'm still alive and unexploded!

 The explosion part is what really had me worried. Because I felt OK. I was slightly light headed from holding my breath so long, but I was fine. I just didn't want to explode my family.

Yeah, that was kind of embarrassing.

Then last night I had another scare....

My usual after dinner routine starts with an argument over doing the dishes with the child who's turn it is to do the dishes. 

(And I make absolutely sure to play my nagging roll of "When I was your age I had to do the dishes in the sink, by hand, every day.....blahdy blahdy blah".

Yup, I turned into the person I always swore I'd never turn into). They have it easy. All they have to do is rinse the dishes and then put them into the dishwasher. They don't have to do the pots n pans or clean any counters or tables or floors. Just the dinner dishes. I do all the rest. And, it's only every other day. But they still moan about how not fair it is that they have to do a single chore on alternating nights. Luckily for them this is all going to change when we move. For I have come up with a new chore chart! Yes, I know, I rock!

Notice it says "KITCHEN" instead of dishes. 

Yes, I got side tracked and now I'm rambling...  I am sleep deprived and impatient to move already!

Sheesh.

So arguing over dishes, then bed time. Which of course is not fair either. Because it's not like their bedtime has always been 9 o'clock pm.... oh wait, it has, actually. Go   to    FREAKING   BED! 

Then finally! No-kids quality time with my giant, cuddly-warm man child. How do we spend it? By playing MW3 on XBOX of course. Isn't that how all grown ups spend their quality no-kids time together? No? Weird.....

So we curse the A-holes that keep dropping us over and over and over again until I'm just not having fun anymore and decide to quit. He plays another game or two then we retire to our room to watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. When it's over we turn off the TV and snuggle in for a night of sleep. 

Only I can't fall asleep. I can never fall asleep. Random thoughts pop into my head and dance on my brain. And I tend to voice these thoughts out loud. Because I can't not. I have tried. My snuggle buddy tries his best to stay awake enough to listen to the rambling ons of my restless brain until he just can't anymore. Sleep claims him and I lie there awake for some time before I finally doze off.....

Then just a few moments later I am awakened by the sound of a THUD. Since this sound is what woke me up I am not at all entirely sure I even really heard a THUD. So I lay there, listening.... 

Then I hear it. It's G. He's trying to cry, but can't catch his breath. I'm out of bed in a flash, jumping over the still sleeping Big D and fly through the door, my heart pounding, trying to suppress the FEAR. I'm an expert non-panicker. <~ That is a word. I just now made it up.

I get there, to his bed, where I expect to see him lying on the floor, but no, he's not there. I find him instead, on the floor next to my daughter's bed. She sleeps on the top bunk. So I pick him up and hold him, "shhhhhh, baby, it's ok. shhhhhhh..." I feel his head for lumps, there are none. So I ask him where it hurts and he points to his back. I put my hand under his shirt and feel sticky skin. Oh no! I run to the bathroom and flip the light switch. He has a huge, very swollen scrape on his back, right on his spine. OK. What do I do? Think... 

Here is the problem.... My car is broke down. Big D's car is a manual. I can drive a manual, but just barley. (Dammit! I need to get a new freaking car!)  Also, the hospital is 20 minutes away. And I'm going to have to strap him down into his carseat with him sitting on his very painful wound.... what to do....

By this time Big D has awoken to pee and I show him G's back. OMG! What happened??? We discuss the issue at hand. I'm frustrated with the situation and that presents it's self as anger. Anger towards Big D. He goes to the kitchen to get some children's Tylenol while I dress the wound with triple antibiotic ointment with pain relief and gauze. 

It is decided that I attempt to drive to the ER. It was a jerky journey, that took longer because instead of my normal led footedness, I drove slowly, in fear that I wouldn't be able to slam on the brakes without killing our only car. And now I have new fears added to the situation. I'm afraid I'm going to kill the car. I'm afraid I'm going to get pulled over because of my slow jerky driving and I'm afraid the hospital staff is going to think I'm abusing my son and they're going to call CPS. Every time one of my kids is injured (which, thankfully, isn't very frequently) I worry that CPS will be called. Could this be considered a phobia, I wonder? ....

 I was there from 2am to 4am. They did some x-rays to make sure he didn't fracture anything. He didn't. He's fine. Thank God! I crawled back into bed around 5 am and woke up with the kids this morning at 7 am. I'm tired. YAWN. Today is a caffeine day and I may just take that nap Big D suggests every day that I always refuse, claiming that it would make me a lazy A-hole.

Hey J! Stop bouncing off the walls and come here! It's time to start you're home schooling.......

BIRTHDAY PARTIES

I hate waiting. I mean, I really hate waiting. We have been waiting for our house to be ready to move into for what seems like forever now. OK, maybe I'm exaggerating just a bit, but I have all these really cool plans for the new place and I'm kind of obsessing about it. And since I can't actually get started on the wonderfully exhilarating projects that I have been planning and researching and drawing up on graph paper, my mind is just getting so full of crap that I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't let some of it out soon. 

One Week. 

Not even a whole entire week any more. Today is Monday. This next coming weekend, 5 days, is our projected moving day. We are crossing our fingers that nothing goes wrong and we don't have to wait another week. We have kind of a lot riding on this move date. Like more birthday parties...

Yup, that's right. Tons of fun and excitement! YAY! (<~ That would be sarcasm right there) Fun for the kids? YES! Fun for me? NO. Now sure, I love the planning part and I love the happy kids part just as much as any other parent does. What I don't love is a bunch of unruly brats on a sugar high without their parents trashing my house and not listening to a word I say when I'm trying to organize a civilized game of musical chairs. HA! Yeah right. Then comes the clean up. Ummmm,..... yeah, that can wait until tomorrow, because I am exhausted! 

Big D's birth date has come and gone, and as I've mentioned before, we have been postponing the celebration of his continued presence in our lives until we get into the new place. (His gift did eventually arrive, BTW, and he loved it. YAY me!) Small D's birth date is creeping up on us now, and then there's J's birth date next month.... So here's the plan of action that our enormous brains have come up with~>  Saturday the 5th we will celebrate Big and Small D's birthdays with a medieval themed party for the kids and a BBQ for the adults, then Sunday the 6th we will celebrate J's with a pirate treasure hunt. 

Oh yes, we MUST be just slightly insane for attempting such a feat. Did I say enormous brains? Hmmm, maybe they're not as big as we'd like to think... BUT, we are brave little soldiers, and though we may very well lose some of what remaining sanity we do have, we WILL succeed in providing two back to back fun filled days for our birthday boys! GO TEAM, GO! 

Uh, can we get some cheerleaders please?.....

STRESS

Big D is stressing over the custody hearing tomorrow because the ex lawyered up. I personally haven't spent any meaningful amount of time with her; definitely not enough to be any kind of a judge of her character. All I have to go on is what Big D tells me and how the kids behave. They usually don't relish the idea of going to their mother's every other weekend and extended stays on alternating holidays consist of phone calls to Big D asking if they can come home.

This is what I know... It has been an on again off again relationship in which she is the one that leaves; not taking the kids with her. They have always stayed with Big D no matter what. Now all of a sudden she wants them to live with her and she went out and hired herself a lawyer. There is no history of domestic violence or anything like that. They just both want custody. She is staying with her sister and they would all have to share one room. We are getting ready to have a 4 bedroom house (two kids per room) and 5 acres of land in about a week.

So what's my point? The judge is not going to give her custody just because she all of a sudden decides to she wants them and hired a lawyer. But Big D gets upset when I try to tell him he has nothing to worry about. He feels like I'm minimizing his fears. So he has been withdrawn this past week and I can't help him. And it makes me feel pushed aside and useless. Selfish on my part? Maybe. But I can't help feeling that way when he acts like a typical man and won't talk about how he's feeling. Especially when he's normally not a typical man. So tensions are high and I'm just trying to ride out the wave.


(At mediation she said she wanted to try to reconcile. Which just pisses me off. Because you had your chance, now he's mine, so BACK OFF!)

Meanwhile, my ex wants me to put his name on G's birth certificate so he can come back to the states from England. To this day he has not supported his son at all, yet he has the nerve to send me this e-mail...

Date: Tuesday, February 7, 2012, 9:13 AM

DON'T Take this the wrong way. I'm happy to give you money for our son for his upkeep. But please tell me what I'm geting for my money? I don't get to see him. I don't get to put my name on his birth papers. I tired to get your account info so I could give you money for xmas, I never got any word back from you. When you did contact me you said you had problems with your cell. When I asked you about geting my name on his birth paper you told me you did not trust me. Were that comes from I don't know.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

A little later he sent me a picture of his big brand new TV. Why, you may ask. Well, I just couldn't tell ya; because I don't know either. So I asked him why he can afford such a nice TV but not child support and he responded with this today...

Date: Tuesday, April 10, 2012, 11:51 AM

- my tv cost $35000 with the surround sound dvd 3d blue ray recorder 1000 watts my money my choice

- the ipad is a 65gb $800 my choice

- no car not at the moment as I'm saving for it oh and its a bmw z4 2010 M

- I've a son here at university, my cost, my son, my name on his birth papers.

 All I want is my name on my sons birth papers

Do you have a lawyer?

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Does he think he's going to impress me with all of his material belongings or scare me into submission? I told him to go f**k himself. 

GIRLS WHO PLAY IN THE DIRT

Great article. I was a dirty girl.  :)

Girls Who Play in the Dirt Grow Up Healthier

BUSY BUSY BUSY

So we were informed that our new house should be ready in about two weeks, we are just waiting on the new carpet and paint. I have slowly been sifting through the mounds of crap that has been collected over the years by my pack rat counter part, trying to figure out what to pack and what to leave out and what to toss. I'm a major procrastinator and do all my best work under the pressure of an impending deadline, so I feel kinda lost. I'm dutifully labeling each box with the room that it should be deposited in upon arrival, but this is a tedious and time consuming task. There is so much other stuff to be done. 


Like laundry for example. The washing machine conveniently took a crap on me today while all full of dirty clothes and dirty water. GRRRRR.....

We finally came up with a name for our soon to be realized dream... The Krazy 8's Ranch. And the business shall be called A MAZE N FARM. Haha! How origional. We like it and it fits us perfect. We are all a bit Krazy. In our own little individual ways. 

In the mean time I am on a mission of hunting down and applying for every possible Government Grant available that we qualify for. Odds are in our favor as fresh locally grown produce is pretty much non-existent in our area, which (hopefully) means there is a market for such a venue. At the suggestion of one of my Californian cousins I have come up with a survey to find out just how MUCH of a market for this there really is....

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/9SC8GFX

Meanwhile, Big D's birthday came and went with no sign of the delivery of the birthday gift I ordered over a month ago. Apparently it got lost in the mail and they had to send a replacement. I am much more disappointed than him. It finally arrived today and I relished the act of wrapping it up all pretty with blue twirly ribbon and a great big colorful bow. And even though I KNOW he's going to love it, I still worry that he won't. Because I always want my gifts to be perfect.

We were hoping to be in our new house in time to celebrate his birthday, but we weren't, so the celebration, AKA BBQ, has been postponed. We will be combining Big D's and Small D's birthday celebrations with the housewarming party/BBQ. Uhg, jsut THINKING about it is exhausting....

I played phone tag with the Dr's office today, and when we finally caught up with each other I was informed that J's neurologist had called them and suggested he be referred to a pediatric psychiatrist. Hallelujah!!! I was so ready for the long haul of renewing my battle with the public school system once we move. I feel like I've won something. I can take a deep breath and relax a little. I know it's still going to be an every day struggle for all of us, but at least now we don't have to battle the schools anymore. 

I look around me right now with the boxes everywhere and the kids bickering over what, how and who collected the mail after school. Small D wants to call the cops on me for telling him to stop pestering T. I am missing my babe, longing for his arms to be wrapped around me. Also, I'd like to take a shower. He needs to hurry up and get home.

Becoming Eight

For the past few years I have been a single parent. Until now. 2 families of 4 have come together in a head-on collision to become 1 family of 8. Let me introduce you to it's members....

Hi, I'm the wicked stepmother! I am pretty new to the area and don't really know anybody. I would much rather be working than playing stay at home mom and housewife. My 3rd person name will be "MOM" or "C".

My partner in crime is the fun loving giant man child who grew up here. He has an actual life with friends, family and a job, that consists of encountering other adult humans. We'll call him "DAD" or "D".

The oldest is an almost 11 year old boy in 5th grade full of flourishing testosterone, loves, loves, loves video games and YouTube. He also aspires to be a body builder. We'll call him "N".

Second oldest is a just barely 10 year old girl in 4th grade, a severely shy animal lover and my Mini Me, is also becoming hormonal, normally sweet and loving has become whiny and argumentative. This is "T" and she is seeing a therapist every other week for Trichotillomania.

Then comes the life of the party, an almost 7 year old boy in 1st grade just recently diagnosed with Tourett's Syndrome. He is full of endless energy and always on the go; this includes his mouth. He has an absolutely brilliant mind, but unfortunately his behavior issues are hindering him. I have recently taken on the venture of home schooling him since the public school thinks suspending him every other week is the best course of action. We are also trying to get an ADHD diagnosis. We'll call him "J".

"A" is a 6 year old girl in Kindergarten. She's the "Daddy's Girl" and loves the color purple, collecting rocks and helping out with chores. 

"Small D" is a soon to be 5 year old boy in pre-school.  He has recently become obsessed with the idea of death and dying, and the fact that he doesn't want anybody he knows or himself to participate in the act of it.

"D" and "A" go to their "REAL" mom's house every other weekend.

Last, but definitely not least, is "G". He is a 3 1/2 year old boy not yet in school. He is the charmer of the group and strangers always gush about how cute they think he is. (This strikes me as ironic since he is the mirror image of his ugly father, whom I hate). I obviously DO agree that he is absolutely gorgeous! He has a pretty bad speech delay that we are currently in the process of trying to figure out. 

Yup, that's right. All 3 of my totally awesome children have to see some kind of specialist. It's so NOT awesome, but it IS life as we know it.

Onto the furry and feathered.....

The doggies are Paige, a Dalmation mix, Jersey, a Corgi mix, Axle, a pit mix, and Dozer, a pit. 

The Kitties are Snowflake, a fluffy Siamese, Kiwi, a non-fluffy Siamese, and Mischief, the "Black Cat". 

T just bought a fiddler crab with her birthday money. She named her "Fiddles" of course. 

The most recent additions are the 3 hens in the back yard. They are only 3 months old and have yet to lay any eggs. They haven't been named yet either, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. (We do have 6 kids, remember). They are Easter Eggers and will lay blue/green eggs, to the delight of the kids!!

So here begins the adventure. We are getting ready to move into a bigger, better house with lots of land. 5 whole acres. And I have a dream. A farm / country store / petting zoo / pumpkin patch / corn maze dream! YAY! It's very exciting to be starting this new chapter in our lives, together.