First, a few updates...
Big D won custody of the kids, which I had no doubt he would. It was a no brainer. However, the judge seemed intent on dragging out the suspense by waiting almost two weeks to mail out the verdict. Ridiculous. We switched up the birthday parties since we know nobody will want to make the trip all the way out here two days in a row. We had Small D's party last Saturday and J's is tomorrow. I didn't get to make the cakes I wanted because the oven isn't working, so we went with store bought. Jayden is back in public school and so far I haven't received any phone calls or letters. I haven't heard from G's dad since I told him to go F***K himself. I have yet to get started on any of my really cool and exciting projects. I just haven't had the time or energy. We have been here a little over two weeks and we're still not fully moved in. I'm steadily working on it though.
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As you all know we have been waiting to move into our new bigger, nicer place that fits us all. Well, we finally did it with many headaches. We had issues with the propane and issues with getting the RV over here, issues with the internet (which is why I've been MIA) and we are still having issues with the stove; awaiting the arrival of a new one. Needless to say the first two weeks were rough, with cold showers and crock pot dinners. I'm not much of a cook, and actually, factually, I down right hate it. But I do it. My family has to eat. Taking the stove out of the equation just makes it 10x harder to think up meals that everyone will eat. Six kids and they are all so damn picky.
But we are getting through. Barely. Becoming a family of eight is proving to be a difficult challenge. Being the evil step mother is draining and heart wrenching. I have grown to love my step children, but they still see me as the evil rule maker and fun taker. This hurts my heart. I don't want to be the wicked witch of the East. I want to play and have fun little conversations about pink unicorns and purple dragons. But I also cannot allow them to become fat couch potatoes that live in a filthy pig sty, (when I say this, I'm talking about ALL SIX of them) and for that there must be rules and chores.
Remember that movie "The Sound of Music"? The dad was super strict and needed ORDER. Well, that's NOT me. There are eight of us in this house. That equals a lot of mess. Laundry, dishes, trash, etc. It also equals a lot of bickering about who's turn it is to play on the XBox or computer or whatever. I cannot keep up with it all. It makes my head spin and my heart race. I just need some organization.
Tell that to the kids and they are being tortured. Why on earth should THEY have to help keep this place clean? And why on earth should they NOT be allowed to play video games 24 hours a day? Try explaining to them that the rules and chores are because I actually CARE about their well being and success as adults elicits rolling eyes and blank stares. So it is a constant battle to strike a balance between earning their respect and keeping this place in order.
OMG, I NEED A FRICKEN JOB!! With a pay check and other grown ups.
I had been deluded to think this move would somehow make things a little easier, giving us more room to breath and have our own spaces to retreat to if needed. Oh how wrong I was. Somehow it seems the dynamics have changed in the complete opposite direction. Tension is high and stresses are unavoidable. WTH has happened? I'm a bit confused here.
To be fair, Big D is trying to quit smoking, which I know from experience is SOOO hard! I quit a few months back and was a complete raving bitch. And Big D stood right by my side through it all. Sure, we bickered, but he was very patient and understanding. Treating me with love and respect. Remembering this gives me more patience than I would normally have with anybody else. And that's saying a lot. These days I'm not a very patient person. So now I'm just trying to ride out the wave.
On a side note, I can totally see why the kids these days are so bad. Not that I condone it by any means, but It would be so much easier to just let them do, say, and eat what ever they want. Being a good parent is really HARD!
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